Grand Theft Auto

haha, a long time after my gta sa crashed....

i took time to download it again. ha so i finished downloading it about a few days back

gta sa is cool but GTA IV is COOLER.

damn..... the graphic is like so damn realistic and it makes you go oh-wow-i-want-that

haha so currently downloading gta IV while TRYING to look at some essays and equations wrote in foreign language.

ah well

going to 'study' (if i can)

cyazzz

oh, did i mention the chinese paper was easy?

no one else except me would understand my feelings.

they just think i dont give a shit about the whole world and that i dont appreciate whatever they do.

but how do they know? dont tell me about that telepathy shit.

I AM ME. I HAVE MY MIND, MY THINKING. there is NO SUCH THING AS MIND READING.

they DONT understand me

they CANT read my thoughts

but they think they can

i just cannot use words to express what i am going through, what i have experienced.

no one will understand. because no one else can be me.

they FREAKING DO THINGS AND SAY IT's FOR my good.

okay

i know

but what do you want me to do?

put an ad in mediacorp to say THANK YOU I LOVE YOU?

BLOODY HELL.

i get blasted for NOT KNOWING HOW TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.

WHAT I GREAT LIFE I HAVE RIGHT.

oh and they say i just dont feel repentful, or never change or even accuse me.

if i feel repentful, i wont be able to say sorry IMMEDIATELY.

and when i dont do that, they think i will NEVER DO IT.

i never tell them i am repentful, they think I NEVER AM.

WHAT A PACK OF LIES.

when they start blasting, everything i do will be argued with a reason that seems REASONABLE to them.

i cant do anything.

oh wait, if i dont they will whack me with their speech again.

so what do i do?

looks like someone needs to write a book : HOW TO BE A GOOD SON, FOR DUMMIES.

i need that book.

I FREAKING CANNOT EXPRESS MYSELF PROPERLY

AND THIS IS A MISTAKE? A CRIME?

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO JUST MARK ME FOR LIFE WITH A SINGLE MISTAKE I COMMIT.

and then he goes again, THEY CARE FOR YOU, AND YOU STILL DONT UNDERSTAND.

again, does he understand me? does he knows what is going through my mind.

I AM SO DAMN FREAKING SURE THE ANSWER IS 

NO!

com'on if you are so good in reading minds, go be a magician.

even a magician cant read minds, those are optical tricks.

so yea. what makes you so FREAKING sure that i am oblivious to the care and love they shower me with? 

what makes you think i DONT understand?

YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THIS IN YOUR LIFE.

I WOULD LOVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IF I COULD.

a life full of excitements and ACHIEVEMENTS.

oh there you go again. YOU ARE LAZY DAMN IT.

oh so i guess every person in this world who is lazy IS A CRIMINAL?

YOU GUYS BASICALLY JUST TREAT LAZY SHITBAGS AS CRIMINALS.

so it's my fault that i am not smart?

my fault i can't do well in studies?

my fault that everything is against me?

NONO, it's not your fault. YOU HAVE to believe in yourself

BULLSHIT!

if belief can take me so far, i would be giving the taking the president's oath now.

A WHOLE LOAD OF CRAP.

i ain't going to believe in anyone now.

i ain't going to like show any emotions.

i guess that's the best way.

being as good as the dead.

just like zombies marching around, programmed to study, study, study

and cry to show appreciation.

then again, 

if this is what you guys want me to be.

i ask you, WHY THE HELL AM I HERE, ON THIS HEARTLESS PLANET.

I'VE GONE THROUGH ENOUGH, DAMN IT.

i really wished i could have used MUCH stronger terms. but i guess there are little children reading this too.

DAMN THE WORLD.

DAMN EVERYONE.

DAMN ME.

friends no more?

i am quite certain of one thing right now.

they don't treat me as a friend.

so i guess i just lost a lot of friends? haha.

all the more i cant wait for Secondary 4 life to be over

and go to JC and make new friends, true friends. 

for now, i shall just go and relax before work haha.

friends or foe?

things have changed.

friends are starting to drift away from me,

and vice versa.

now we may just be strangers

but who knows we may turn to foes.

i fear that day,

and hope it never comes,

but things arent looking that good.

i've wasted too many chances, 

and i dont think i'll be given another.

can we still be friends?

i not know.

the world is dark, and cruel without friends.

that's my world right now.

and i dont know if it'll change.

the cruel truth.

射雕英雄传

wah.. it has been more than two weeks since i blogged, haha....

well, i wasnt in the mood and there wasn't anything exciting about my life..

anyway, as the title says yea Legend of The Condor Heroes will start TODAY

every sunday at 7.30pm on channel U. lol

even though i have watched it twice already, i still look forward to it haha

might watch the whole series again. this version is quite nice haha

so yea... i will go off now

ariel lin ftw!